During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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