Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can I color on your dick again?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
