Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
