i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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