I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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