I just saw a hot homeless man
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
