I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
