it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
no, he came in my armpit
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
