just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
