Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
