no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
