How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
