The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize