I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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