Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
