Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
