She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
