I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
