Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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