I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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