bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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