Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
