There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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