we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
