do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
