So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
