I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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