Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
