but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
