my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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