we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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