I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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