I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
