Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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