I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
