Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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