oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
