The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
