That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
