idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
