btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
