i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
