i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize