Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
