Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
