that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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