id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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