Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
