You really coming over, don't trick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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