I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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