I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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