And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
