laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
