I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
