We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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