forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize