I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
